Healing from your past is a difficult thing, but you can heal. Many of us hold on to past traumas and experiences, especially when we don’t acknowledge them. Ignoring our past only makes it more present in our life today, shown through our actions and emotions.
Some memories are painful, some are embarrassing, some are sad, but they are the part of you that has passed. The only thing that really matters is Now. The past is gone, and the future we can’t yet grasp. All we are left with is the present. There are those of us that have experienced a single event, and there are those of us that have experienced a continual pattern of events. Each event that has happened holds a separate lesson to be learned. Sometimes there may be a single major lesson to be learned from multiple past events combined. When there is a pattern in our past, there may be a lesson we are not grasping.
*Disclaimer: I am not a licensed professional. Please use my suggestions at your own discretion. Some people may have a difficult time with the healing process and can lead to depression, and other side effects. I suggest using a Therapist to assist you during your healing process. You may be able to find a free or low cost psychologist or therapist, depending on your insurance. There are also free or low-cost, online Therapists, now.*
Acknowledging the past is a way to begin to heal. As strange as it may sound, being kind to yourself is key to your healing. When you “speak to yourself” about your past trauma or experience, be comforting and patient with your thoughts. Meditation music playing can help to calm your spirit; as well as closing your eyes can make it easier to visualize and tune out your surroundings. Sometimes speaking aloud helps. Pay attention to your thoughts, and when or if they go into a negative thinking pattern, kindly tell yourself that you don’t want negative thoughts, and begin again with something positive.
Being objective about the past is good when dealing with your past. There is something to learn about you. Thinking of a past experience, ask yourself what happened exactly. Acknowledging and confronting this event from your past, think about how you felt; were you sad, hurt, afraid, angry, something else? What did you do or how did you react, during this event? How do you feel about what you did or how you reacted? If there were other people involved, what were their actions? How do you feel about what they did? Continue doing mental dialogue until you’re ready to stop. This past event happened and it happened to you. It is now the past and you cannot change that. Acknowledge that this event happened, but is in the past. Is there something that could be learned from it? Maybe something about yourself? Try to focus on the positives, there are positives. Speak to yourself as you would a close friend or relative and be sure to give yourself a pat on the back when you are finished, for your healing work.
There are many methods that can help you learn from your past. I can only speak from my experiences and tools I personally use. I believe there are life lessons in just about everything. When we are honest with ourselves about our past, be it choices we’ve made or random happenings, then we can begin to live happily in the present. It helps to find meaning to your past. None of us would be the person we are today without our past. If that is a good thing, thank your past and all of the ups and downs, because it got you to who you are today.
If you are not happy with the person you are today, look to your past for lessons. You have the ‘power’ to change yourself and negative thinking patterns. Though an entire other subject, I must bring up ‘The Law of Attraction’. We attract what we think. If you want positive things, think positive things. If you think negative things, you will only find negative things. A life changing book (and the video if you get a chance to see it!) is, The Secret. There are many amazing books on this topic (I’ve read a good number of them), but I find The Secret to be fun, simple, lighthearted and informative. I can’t stress how great The Secret Video is; for the visual learners. There are some recognizable faces in the film, as well. Netflix had it at one time, possibly currently.
I hope this post will give you some ideas and tools on beginning your healing journey. Therapy is an excellent tool in your healing, if you can go to a therapist. Having a licensed doctor help you with your thought dialogue takes some pressure off of yourself, because you don’t have to do it alone.